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Typing Exercise

This is for me #1 In the heat of a downward spiral, shameful thoughts, guilty thoughts, judgmental thoughts, blameful thoughts and emotional heaviness I was highly encouraged by Leigh to type a free flow, screw-editing typing exercise, in order to locate what it was that was crippling me...  I feel guilty for unloading on Gail. I feel like I get attention with my emotions, I feel guilty for some of these high intensity emotions, sometimes I feel like I am being super genuine and other times see like right now I am judging what comes out of my mouth and its ridiculous and debilitiating or maybe im just thinking of what I want to say. I feel sad, deeply deeply sad, I feel like mom has no boundaries when it comes to understanding that that was weird for her to point out that Dad feels jealous about her family I feel tired and spacey I feel emotionally drained, I feel comfortable in this spot right now with the slight breeze and dusk lighting and ac on in the background, I feel exh
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Dat Haiku

Outstretched limbs spell abundance  Seasoned with blessing Reward for growth is pruning 
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Nights

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Right as I whisper to myself, " this isn't going to be easy " in response to the demons that roam my mind I came upon this quote that saved me from a moment of lies. And I quieted my triggered tears then read it aloud. Following, the head bowed and voice took flight with truth. You are God And you are here. You love me freely. You've called me as your child. You are everlasting hope. You are closer to my soul than I am to myself. And I rest in peace, that is and only is Your presence.
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You Make Me Brave

Tomorrow I get baptized in the chesapeake bay and tonight, I just simply can't sleep. I'm nervously excited. I'm glad I am not doing this alone. I've reflected enough. This is HUGE. This is going public with my faith. This is a stamp of devotion to my King. I don't have to be scared because he has brought me through it all and will continue to encourage, guide, hover, teach, heal, love, prune etc. Years from now, in whatever season I am in, I won't ever forget this symbolism of commitment to Christ and pledge of clear conscience before God. He gets the glory from my story. He gets to show off in so many lives tomorrow. WE, US, ALL, EVERYONE get to celebrate tomorrow. This for me, is like, better than christmas morning when I was a child. - - - - - - I made the decision to follow Christ the year after graduating college. Beginning of senior year I had experienced an internal death. It felt like an internal stripping. What I did not know then, wa
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Uke Time is Time Well Spent

Just having fun with her (the uke), worshiping, unedited. I messed up a few times, forgot lyrics, got ahead of myself and in the midst was called to dinner.  He is still glorified in my efforts. :)  One of my favorites , How He Loves by John Mark McMillan  Soaking up this time of His coming, spending time waiting while reading the word and playing for Him any chance I can get. Doing an advent devotion with the girls (for the first Christmas in a while, actually).  Anyways, without further ado...
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His Perfect Timing: My plans falling apart for His to come together.

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What Change looks like for me: ( with a capital 'C' ) I now take cold bucket showers. At least five fresh mosquito bites appear on my body every morning. I share space with a family of fourteen. Rice is my daily intake at every meal including seconds. Village life ain't so bad. I teach english to 13-17 year olds. I wash all my clothes by hand. I live with no air conditioning.  And I am the happiest I have been in quite a while. Hold on. It is not like I wasn't happy before but God has pulled through for me in big ways. Let me explain. It's been exactly a month since I moved to Northeast Thailand, right outside the city of Khon Kaen. A few months ago, my long-term plans to stay in Chanthaburi were falling through as His provision was being crafted... After finishing English camp in Chanthaburi I was on my way to Khon Kaen to visit for a week. Before I left for Khon Kaen, I began to feel like my time and work at the Anuban school was coming
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Snail Mail Shmail Mail

I've decided to make this public. Instead of giving out my new address to a few close friends I want to give the opportunity to all. Yes, that means YOU. The reason- I absolutely, without a doubt LOVE snail mail. It fills me up when I get any letter, big or small, from someone. Letters, cards, notes make my week! There is something about the spontaneity of receiving a handwritten letter. It helps me feel connected with you half a world away. Cheesy as it sounds, there have been times I have put cards up to my chest because I value you them so much. I am closest to you when you have spoken your heart on a piece of paper. It's true! I hope snail mail never becomes a past time. I am afraid it has in some ways but I will be one who continues to keep it alive and you can too. Posted this on Facebook and posting it here as well. Hello friends and family, for those who don't know I have moved to Khon Kaen. It's in Northeast Thailand. Here is my new mailing address. If
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